Detritus of the Mind

  Or: “Here, Montresor, lemme help you.” I was about 32 or 33 when I realized that I was asexual. There was no word for it in the 90s, when I was growing up, and the closest alignment was thinking of myself as bisexual (and even then, my conception of being bi was deeply flawed because 90s). But when I looked back at my life & experiences, from consuming media to dating, it all just… clicked. I was always asexual, and this was the first time I had a real name for it. It felt like a boulder had been lifted from my shoulders to have this realization. Only for another boulder to immediately be slammed down in its place - there is absolutely NO WAY that I would be able to share this revelation with anyone in my life. My family skews pretty conservative and can only kind of wrap their brains around being gay (and even then, only my mother is not openly hateful about it). There’s no one in my social circle or work circle that knows, because I know that reactions would be at best...